Not So Sexy Spanx

There is nothing less sexy as when the opposite sex tells you this: “You look like you are strapped in.”  Like most of the red carpet walkers and every other insecure woman in America, I not only bought one but two pairs of Spanx.  One that has a lower waist and one with a higher one.

Spanx is a billion dollar company built around the modern girdle or control top panty hose but without the hose on steroids.  The product even makes an appearance on the movie “The Heat” on an uptight FBI agent played by Sandra Bullock who wants to keep her bits in place.  Melissa McCarthy asks her if she is wearing it for a medical reason like stuff is supposed to fall out or something.  Well…world…I’m letting my “stuff” fall out and cutting up my Spanx.

Working in the fashion industry, I once starved myself to fit into a Japanese size 22/23W and I’d be so proud that they would be roomy on me.  It was my then normal.  Besides not eating more than a few bites and working out 5 days a week, I had an addiction to Red Bull.  Maa-aybe it was 8 cans per day.  A store cashier once told me that he could smell the Taurine on my skin and so I had the cases shipped from Amazon instead.  Then came the intervention at work.  Co-workers would touch my Red Bull can to see if it was cold or not.  I can say that chugging a can of RB in the ladies’ bathroom while wearing Spanx was a low point in my life.

A ripple turned into some strong life changing waves.  I packed up and moved from San Francisco to San Diego.  I put my $200+ jeans on Ebay for $40 each and realized that boobs are good.  Curves are good.  Did I mention the boobs part?

Summer dresses have also become my new best friends.  If I’m getting the weird back fat or waist rolls then I’m wearing the wrong size bra or pants.  I’m dressing for my body type, eating better, and hitting the gym minus the Red Bull.  I’ll still suck in my tummy for that Facebook photo but I’m a lot happier these days and Spanx-free in my new healthier normal.